So, readers, tell us what you want, what you willy willy want. Is it a game about multicoloured members chasing each other’s scrot-bottoms? If so, then Genital Jousting may be for you.
Yes, Genital Jousting is real, and it’s quite different from the kind which humans tend to involve themselves in before bed-time. For starters, there are lots of schlongs rather than a couple. Yes, this could also be an orgy, but these ding dongs are accompanied by lots of bums too.
… okay, that could also be a orgy. HOWEVER, these bums are special penis bums (located behind brightly coloured balls. If there’s an orgy out there featuring those kind of shenanigans, then we’d like* to see it.
It’s probably easiest if we just show you what it’s all about. Warning, this might not be suitable for work, depending on who you work for. Schoolteachers should probably avoid pressing the play button.
We encourage you to re-watch that video carefully and listen to the stunningly accurate audio design. It really is quite uncanny.
Devolver Digital, the game’s publisher, describes the local and online co-op of Genital Joustingas a “multiplayer party game about flaccid penises and wiggly bums for up to eight players at once.
“Players control a detached penis complete with testicles and an anus in a variety of game modes,the each featuring a stimulating orgy of objectives: Penetrate and be penetrated as fast as possible or compete in absurd, silly and sexually suggestive games and challenges.”
So there you have it: perky peckers participate in a series minigames with up to eight players, some of which involve these BBCs penetrating one another. If you’re looking a way to liven up that next dinner party or ensure that your in-laws never visit the house again, we’re fairly sure this could be the perfect “tool” for the job.
Genital Jousting is available as an Early Access title on Steam and costs £3.99. “I’ve lost all control,” said the CFO of Devolver Digital, Fork Parker. “Like most things, I blame the millennials.”
* “Like” used for affect. Please don’t send us your eccentric porn collection.
